Understanding Consent: Beyond the “Yes” and “No”

At SHE+, we believe consent is not just a conversation about sex, or for the bedroom. Consent is ongoing, and a conversation about respect, autonomy, and care. It weaves safety and connection into all of our interactions. 

Yet, too often, consent gets simplified into a binary: a “yes,” or a “no.” In reality, consent is dynamic. It shifts with time, context, and comfort. It is something we co-create, and not something we ask for once. 

Most of us first learned about consent through simple rules:

“Ask first.”

“Respect it when someone says “no.””

That is essential, but it is just the starting point. Healthy intimacy demands more than just rule-following. It requires curiosity, communication, and care. 

An enthusiastic “yes” isn’t just about the words we say, it’s about how the body and brain respond to safety. 

Neuroscience shows us that when a person feels pressured, afraid, or frozen, their brain's amygdala (the center for fear and stress) takes over, limiting their ability to make decisions from the prefrontal cortex, where reasoning and autonomy live in the brain. In those moments, someone may say, “yes,” to avoid conflict, or out of fear, but that’s not true consent. 

True consent happens when the mind and the body agree… when someone feels safe, free, and empowered to make a decision. It is active participation, not life “happening to you.” 

Consent is fluid. What felt right last week may not feel right today, and that is okay. Our needs, boundaries, and comfort levels evolve based on emotions, experiences, and relationships. A “yes” once, is not a “yes,” forever. 

At SHE+, we encourage a model of consent that is informed, voluntary, ongoing, and capacity-aware. 

And, consent is not just for romantic relationships. Consent shows up in the doctor's office, too. 

In healthcare, informed consent means that every patient has the right to understand what is being done with their body, why it is being done, and what their options are. Too often, especially in women’s health, procedures like pelvic exams, IUD insertions, or even simple touch during medical assessments happen with minimal explanation or rushed communication. 

This can erode trust, and trigger feelings of vulnerability and violation. True medical consent is not a signature on a clipboard (or these days, a computer), it is a conversation. One that involves explanation, asking questions, and honoring boundaries in real time. 

Every patient deserves to feel safe, informed, and in control of their care, because consent is not just sexual, it is foundational to bodily autonomy.